BILL H. 11/04/2003
Nice page Gary. The lawn looks good.
GARY'S HOME PAGE The Official Web Site of BoomerX
A Personal Web Site by Gary. (Retired.) (Commander.)
This is my OFFICIAL PHOTOGRAPH. Carol says I look angry in it. I am not angry. This is my face. This has always been my face.
The nameplate was a gift from Uncle Dale. I did not ask for it. I have not removed it.
THIS WEBSITE HAS BEEN INSPECTED FOR LOOSE PIXELS ~*~ NO UTILITY. WE PRINTED THE WEBSITE. ~*~ PLEASE SIGN MY GUEST BOOK ~*~ NOBODY PARKS ON THE GRASS ~*~ ALL DIGITAL OBJECTS MUST BE REGISTERED WITH THE HOA ~*~
You are visitor number
19461964
Official Internet Notice
THE INTERNET HAS BEEN LEAVING MESSAGES.
I do not conduct official business through unexpected private messages. I conduct official business through this web page, a printer, and—when absolutely necessary—the telephone.
If someone claims to represent BoomerX and asks for a password, a recovery phrase, a private key, remote access, a screen share, or any other secret, that person does not represent BoomerX.
The official website is boomerxcrypto.com. The official X account is @BoomerXCrypto. Any additional official destination will be listed here before Gary acknowledges it.
- Gary
Read this one. (Added by Kevin, who was not asked.)
BoomerX will never provide support through an unsolicited direct message.
Do not trust a profile merely because it uses our name, images, or logo. Use the links on this website and review the Internet Safety Notice.
Welcome To My Web Site
Hello and welcome to my web site.
My name is Gary. I am retired. I worked thirty one years at the plant. I have a wife, two children, and a lawn that is the envy of the cul de sac.
My son Kevin showed me how to make a web page. He said it would take twenty minutes. That was in 2003. It is going well.
I understand this is also now the official web site of a completely unnecessary digital object. Nobody consulted me about that either. It is my page. I am leaving it how it is.
You may look around. There is no checkout. I checked. Please sign my guest book. It is at the bottom.
- Gary
My Digital Object Corner
I HAVE BEEN ASKED TO SUPERVISE A DIGITAL OBJECT.
It is called BOOMERX. It is cultural, apparently. Kevin used several other words and then stopped when he saw my face.
It does not require shelf space. It does not come with a warranty card. Nobody will tell me where it is physically located. These are all defects.
Here is what I have figured out so far:
- A digital object is still called an object even though a person cannot put it in a drawer.
- A wallet is not a wallet. It does not hold receipts, photographs, or the emergency twenty Carol does not know about.
- The blockchain is a public record. I have reviewed it. It needs margins.
- A QR code is a barcode that has become difficult on purpose.
- The cloud is still somebody else's building. They have not answered my letter.
What is it for?
Entertainment, parody, and online participation. This is what Kevin wrote. I asked him to define participation. He left the room.
There is no utility. We printed the website.
- Gary
Plain description (added by Kevin, who was not asked)
BoomerX is a digital collectible created for entertainment, parody, and online participation. It provides no ownership, yield, revenue share, repayment rights, governance rights, or claim on any business, treasury, or assets. It is not marketed as an investment.
Gary has reviewed this paragraph. He circled “digital” and wrote “WHERE.”
Internet Safety Department
- What is BoomerX?
- A digital collectible and participatory comedy property about obsolete technology, unnecessary bureaucracy, internet etiquette, and a lawn.
- Where are the official links?
- On boomerxcrypto.com. Do not treat a private message, reply, copied logo, or familiar profile photograph as verification.
- Will BoomerX ask for secrets or access?
- No. Nobody representing BoomerX will ask for passwords, private keys, recovery phrases, remote access, or screen sharing.
BX • The Lawn Division
Established 2004. Operational since.
Mission
The lawn.
Area Of Responsibility
Zero point four one acres, including the strip by the mailbox that technically belongs to the county but which is, in every way that matters, mine.
Current Threat Level
MODERATE (grubs)
Chain Of Command
- Gary. Commander. (See nameplate.)
- Carol. Veto authority. Unlimited. Non negotiable.
- The Dog. Non compliant. Under review since 2019.
Equipment Registry
- Primary mower. She has never once failed me.
- Secondary mower. Also mine. Do not ask.
- Edger. Acquired 2011. Still under warranty by my reckoning.
- Blower. LOUD. This is a feature.
Standing Orders
- Nobody parks on the grass.
- Nobody.
- I have spoken to the Hendersons.
Rules Of Engagement
I will wave. I will always wave.
But I will remember.
My Opinions
My brother, Dale. Dale has identified a pattern. Dale is always identifying a pattern. We have asked him to stop identifying patterns during dinner.
| SUBJECT | DALE'S OPINIONS |
|---|---|
| Self checkout | I do not work there. I have now said this out loud, to a machine, in public. |
| The metric system | It was pushed on us. I would simply like to know by whom. |
| The price of copper wire | Ask yourself who benefits. That is all I will say. That is all I am ALLOWED to say. |
| Birds | I have no issue with the birds. I have submitted a diagram. We do not discuss it at the table. |
| Passwords | They keep asking me to make a new one. I have a good one. Why. |
| The cloud | It is a building. It is somebody's building. Somebody OWNS the building. |
| Music today | There is no melody in it. I have tried. I put it on in the car and I tried. |
| Warranties | REGISTER IT. Nobody registers anything anymore and then they act surprised. |
Small print (added by Kevin, who was not asked)
Uncle Dale is the Deputy Director of Pattern Recognition. His theories concern printers, QR codes, chargers, passwords, self checkout, and other harmless systems. He is not authorized to identify real conspiracies.
My Photographs
Fax Me
FAX-E 1987 IS NOT DEAD. A fax is instant AND it prints. Explain to me, in plain words, how that is worse.
Go on. Send me one. I am at the machine.
- GARY
Note from Kevin: Fax-E is not connected to anything. Nothing you type is sent anywhere, stored anywhere, or seen by anyone. It is a picture of a fax machine.
Dad does not know this. Do not tell him.
Contact Me
E MAIL: gary@boomerxcrypto.com
I check it on Sundays, and only after the lawn, which comes first, and which is a bigger job than people appreciate.
Response time is four to six weeks. I am retired but I am BUSY.
WHERE THE YOUNG PEOPLE ARE:
X: @BoomerXCrypto
Telegram: @boomerxcrypto
Follow along if you want new faxes, more lawn photographs, and whatever Doug's committee gets up to. It is not going anywhere and neither is the lawn. There is nothing to miss and no reason to hurry. Follow because it is funny, not because you are early. Kevin says people say "early." Early for WHAT. It is a lawn.
These are the only official social destinations currently listed. Gary has muted both.
Small print (added by Kevin, who was not asked)
This is not a support address. There is no support desk. Nobody from BoomerX will contact you first or ask for a password, recovery phrase, private key, remote access, or screen share.
Sign My Guest Book
DALE 11/09/2003
GARY. Call me. It is about the wire.
GARY. Call me. It is about the wire.
GARY 11/09/2003
test test is this working
test test is this working
GARY 11/09/2003
test 2
test 2
KEVIN 03/12/2007
Dad. Why is this still up.
Dad. Why is this still up.
a stranger 06/21/2011
cool site :)
cool site :)
anon recently
gm
gm
anon recently
sir this is a webring
sir this is a webring
DOUG recently
Hello. I have registered my digital object with the HOA. Please advise.
Hello. I have registered my digital object with the HOA. Please advise.
KEVIN recently
doug what did you register
doug what did you register
DOUG recently
I would rather not say. I propose we form a committee.
I would rather not say. I propose we form a committee.
KEVIN recently
doug. what did you register.
doug. what did you register.
DALE recently
They are putting the money INSIDE the computer. And you need a number to buy and to sell. A NUMBER. Revelation, chapter 13. I have a highlighter and I have used it.
They are putting the money INSIDE the computer. And you need a number to buy and to sell. A NUMBER. Revelation, chapter 13. I have a highlighter and I have used it.
KEVIN recently
uncle dale it is a parody token. there is no money in the computer. there is no money anywhere.
uncle dale it is a parody token. there is no money in the computer. there is no money anywhere.
DALE recently
That is EXACTLY what the number would want you to say, Kevin.
That is EXACTLY what the number would want you to say, Kevin.
KEVIN recently
it is a joke. about a lawn.
it is a joke. about a lawn.
DALE recently
The lawn is 0.41 acres. Four plus one is five. Add the two mowers. SEVEN. Wake up.
The lawn is 0.41 acres. Four plus one is five. Add the two mowers. SEVEN. Wake up.
KEVIN recently
goodnight, dale.
goodnight, dale.
About the guest book (added by Kevin, who was not asked)
The guest book has been closed since 2004. Whatever you type into that box stays in your own browser. It is not sent anywhere and it is not saved anywhere.
I am not putting an open public text box on this website. Within a day it would fill up with impersonation links, and those links would be sitting beside my father's face looking endorsed. That is not happening.
The entries above are curated comedy and dramatization. Future community entries may be selected by hand from public replies. Being funny is the entire application process. Doug has applied repeatedly.
GOLDEN MOUSEAwarded 1998. I do not know by whom. It arrived.
CERTIFIED CORD COMPLIANTAll cords on this property are wound correctly.
NEIGHBORHOOD WATCHBronze level. Bronze is still a level.
Y2K READYWe were ready. Nobody thanked us.